Precious Conversations

I’ve had some pretty amusing conversations with children lately. I ask “How’s school going?” And I get the typical response, “Good!” I say, “Really?” And they nod. To which I say, “Wow, that’s great. I’ve found that it’s been kind of a hard season. It’s cold and we’re so ready for spring. Easy to get a little grouchy. It’s been hard.” Then they smile or laugh and I get a big nod of agreement.

We all carry default answers in life and sometimes it’s simply the nuances of social interactions. As parents, it’s important for us to be self-aware of our own defaults; and also to find creative ways to lead our kids through their defaults into deeper thoughts and connection in our relationship. I encourage you to pause and make a point to share a little deeper with your children. Be curious. Make an observation. Ask another question. Ask how they think or feel about a situation. Share from your own day and experiences.

Also, be aware of the timing and place of those conversations. Sometimes we have the best of intentions, but right after school is rarely the time your kids want to talk about it. They want and need to decompress just like you do after your day. Notice when your kids tend to be most open to talking. Note where they tend to share. I’ve found car rides can be great spaces because distractions are limited. Another good time can be after a big time of play and expended energy or in the kitchen when you are cooking together.

What we make important is important. Let’s make sure we don’t miss the precious conversations along the way of reminding them to pick up toys and brush their teeth.

For the King and His Kids,
Becky

Guilding Kids through Tragedy

As I pray for the people directly impacted by the Las Vegas shooting this morning and as my heart cries out for our country, I pray for you and your children. As parents, may your hearts be anchored and steadfast in the Lord as you raise your kids in such a hostile world. For our kids, may they be protected in the love of God and for his purpose. For all of us, may we have a revelation of the kingdom of God and boldly join with the Father in what He is doing in our world.
 

How you parent your children through these situations it’s greatly determined by their age. Here are a few practical thoughts to consider:

• Limit the amount of media and news, as well as unbridled conversations around your children’s ears. Young people have a heightened sensitivity and vulnerability. It’s your responsibility to protect their innocence.

• Teach them to discern the work of the enemy vs. Jesus. Your kids should memorize & hide in their heart: “The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that you might have life and have life in abundance.” John 10:10

• Help them see where God is at work as well. Point out the rescue workers, the medical teams, the police officers, pastors, and ordinary people God uses to bring life and his kingdom to people in these horrible situations.

• Respond as a family in prayer and practical means. Kids learn how to respond to our broken world, by how we respond. If we sit around and talk about the news and blow up social media. That’s what they will do. If we stop and pray, they will too. If we find a way to give, even as simple as bringing canned goods to a local food bank, we show them - even if we can’t directly help the people in Las Vegas, we can help people and that’s what we do as a family. 

Jesus said, “How can I describe the Kingdom of God? What story should I use to illustrate it? It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants; it grows long branches, and birds can make nests in its shade.” Mark 4:30-32

May His kingdom come here to earth through us.

Kids & Water Baptism

One of the most amazing expressions of our faith in Jesus is the invitation to be water baptized. Water baptism reminds us of our need for a Savior and his powerful work on the cross to accomplish an eternal salvation for us. 

Going "into the water" is an act of surrender and identification with the death of Christ. Coming up "out of the water" proclaims the power of His mercy, grace, and life - which now defines who we are in Him and our decision to follow Him forever. 

It is proclaiming our yes to His yes.

A few things to consider with your children and water baptism: 

• Spiritual Readiness: In the ages 4-14, there is an open spiritual window. With the right environment & conversations, it is a time that children become aware of their fallen, sinful condition and need for a Savior. It is the optimum time for people to say yes to Jesus and to begin understanding and experiencing a relationship with Him.

• Faith Conversations: It is important to talk about your own faith story with your child(ren), as they learn by example. Take every opportunity to ask your child about Jesus. Who is Jesus? How do you need Him in your life today? Be ready to pray with them when they are ready to receive Jesus as a forever friend, and follow Him as leader of their life. 

• Defining Moments: Once a young person expresses their faith in Christ, they are ready to be water baptized. At the same time, I feel the power of water baptism is the defining moment it is in our lives. I know for me, it is a time I distinctly remember & that decision to follow Christ has motivated and inspired me for over 30 years. I want the same for every child, which is why I insisted my daughter understood the why before she was baptized.

• Understanding Why: My daughter grew up from a very young age expressing her love to Jesus. Every time we had a water baptism at church, she would ask me if she could be baptized, too. I responded to her desire and asked her, "Why?" each time. Until she could verbally tell me the reason, I would explain to the story of following Jesus and why people are baptized. At age 10 1/2, she answered my "why" with her love for Jesus and desire for him to be in her life forever (see photo). I knew she was ready.

• Fears: For other children, water baptism is a bit scary. From the idea of going under water to being in front of people - it can freak them out. If this is your child, I encourage you to help them talk through their fears and express how it is an amazing moment you get to celebrate with Jesus. It is your opportunity to be courageous with your faith and let Jesus be right there with you. 

• Ready?: If your child is ready, there is a class that covers the basics of water baptism (spiritually and practically). Go to that together & find out more. Ask God to give you an idea for a "memory" of water baptism for your child - a scripture or story or gift. Something that you can share and celebrate this decision together as a family. 

Sharing in our children's faith story is such a wonderful part of parenting. I pray God's grace be with you and your family as you experience His great love and what it means to say yes to His yes.  

Loving Your Kids and Loving Life

Today, I am privileged to include a guest post written by a good friend, J Hunt. It's amazing and worth the read...

One year ago today, I started this new chapter in my life called, A stay at home dad. I didn't know what was in store for me and it took longer than I thought to get the hang of it. If I had it all to do over, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Not because I did everything so perfect, just the opposite, but I learned by making mistakes and when I learned that it's ok to make mistakes, my kids learned it's ok to make mistakes. That's been a big lesson for all of us.

1. I have learned that Olivia is just like me. Stubborn, controlling, over acts, always has to get the last word. These are all my bad traits, but she is also generous, smart, witty and questions authority. She is our strong willed child. I cherish her for that, but some days it's too much to take and I want to run back to work. But that is family and unconditional love. We love them in good, bad and all times in between.
I pray for her to start a relation with God. I know she loves God, but she still has questions and I've answered them in every angle that I can think of. My God is faithful and He will answer that prayer one day.

2. I have learned that August James is the sweetest kid I know. He seeks attention (as middle children often do) and he doesn't care if it is positive or negative. He'll be mischievous but only to get your attention. He has no mean streak in him. He is also very spiritual. That kid is a prayer warrior. So what if many of his prayers are for God to help him sword fight the bad pirates, but he also prays for healing for his mother's back, for God to help him with his speech and with going potty. He gets it. God hears him.

3. Sammy Bea is a little spit fire. The kid has been cursed with the Hunt temper. I've never seen a 17 month old throw a toddler tantrum. The word NO, turns her eyes red with fury. She is going to be a tough person to bowl over. She will be a fighter and I have no doubt that she'll be fighting for those who can't fight for themselves. After all she is Samaritan. I love the fact that she calls me by name all the time, Papa, papa, papa.
That's what I've learned about my kids over the past year that I'm sure I would have learned eventually, but not in such detail and not from front row seats, where the show takes on a whole new meaning.
This past year has changed me and I'll never be the same. I am a control freak, an efficiency nut, quick to anger, over reactor and a task oriented guy. I've had to relearn me, because all my go to "tools" didn't work on this jobsite.

I've learned to let go of the reigns more. So what if Olivia's clothes don't match or that AJ washes his hands with too much soap or Sammy always loses a shoe. If I didn't let go of some of my crazy idiosyncrasies, I would have gone mad.

The bottom line is love your kids, love life and don't hold on so tight. It's a much better ride in the front row of the roller coaster with your hands held high, reaching out to God.

The Main Thing

"The main thing, is to keep the main thing the main thing." Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

One of the most helpful exercises I've done as a parent was to consider & write down the things that were passed down to me from my own parents. In a matter of minutes, I was to identify - What were the 2-3 'main things' given to me from my parents? 

The follow up question was... From that list, what do you want to make sure to pass along to your own children and what do you know you want to do differently?

Most of us parent our children from our own life experiences, responding as our own parents did or reactively different from our parents (depending on whether it was a positive or negative impression). And really, so much of it is subconscious. 

One of the greatest things you can do to lead yourself and parent your children is to figure out the main things and be intentional about keeping them as the main things. 

What you write down may even surprise you. I know it did me. 

I discovered how my mom had shared a gift of play with me that made me feel special and connected to her. My mom was incredibly busy, but skillful in integrating play into our home life. My play kitchen was next to her kitchen and we cooked many meals together… she babysat my baby dolls, always giving me a full report of their behavior when I returned... would give me old vegetable cans for my grocery store business and we'd traipse about the yard watering the flowers together in the evening. And the list goes on and on. 

Those are special memories, and playing together is definitely one of those main things I want to keep for my family. 

How about you? 

Have fun with it!

It's been a longer winter. You hear it in every sigh, cough, and brrrrr. It's even been hard to get the kids out to sled or play much, because it's been so cold. 

Well, the Winter Olympics are here and I say, let's have some fun with it and use it to  surge some positive energy & laughter into our families! Here are a couple of ideas I have to get you started… 

* Host your own Medal Ceremony each evening at supper time. As a family, determine what you're competing in (who can do the most chores around the house, who can do the most acts of kindness in a day, who is most creative with their hair that day, who wins Slapjack contest, etc.) Then, have everyone share and hand out the gold, silver and bronze for the competition. Bonus family time: Take the time to make the medals together.

* Host your own Family Olympics. There are tons of quick, easy "Minute to Win It" ideas on the Web… this one is great for silly & competitive families. 

There is something amazing that happens when we play, laugh and have fun together. Don't miss your chance to do it with your kids today. 

Peace on earth through us

Glory to God in highest heaven,and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased. Luke 2:14


On Sunday in Kingdom Kids, we talked about peace and looked for it in the stories of Jesus in the book of Luke. There were people healed, provided for, set free, and raised from the dead - all demonstrations of the wholeness Jesus gives.

As we closed in prayer, I asked the children how they may personally need the peace of Jesus or know of someone else that does. One child immediately piped up that we should pray for children who do not have clean water. As we started talking about it, our conversation explored other needs that people have in our world and even in our city - things like food and healing. 

Our prayer time became very "hands on" as we right there decided to pray for the kids on our Compassion table, the food on the Food Shelf, and blankets for cancer patients. Several children took turns praying their hearts out for God's peace to come and touch people's lives. It was such a beautiful prayer time! 

Well, we just couldn't end there. As a class, we decided we needed to be part of God's will to bring peace on earth and sponsor a Compassion child. What fun we had picking out a child and passing around the brochure so everyone could write a note to her. 

These kids truly are "kingdom" kids... and may our lives as parents, teachers, friends and mentors be as filled with the ways of kingdom. Peace on earth through us.